Banana Island Ghost

Banana Island Ghost

I’ll start by saying that Banana Island was a good attempt at a romantic comedy especially for a Nollywood movie. Sadly, it didn’t live up to a lot of expectations but managed to leave a good taste in our mouths nonetheless.

The visuals were a breath of fresh air and a lot of thought went into the aerial shots and angles that spoke of superb cinematography. The music by Nigerian artists definitely served as major highlights and helped fill in the blanks when necessary. Some of the songs that were definitely worth hearing again were Kale Ni by Ruby Gyang and Empty by Cobhams.

 

The movie’s flaws however were mostly as a result of empty dialogue and a story with more holes than a basket. This caused the Banana Island Ghost to have pacing issues and trivialized a lot of its highlights.download-22-

The film felt more like a collection of moments than a well thought out story and the inconsistencies and lack of buildup in the film caused it to fall flat in the wrong places.

That said, the Banana Island Ghost definitely scored an ‘A’ for effort and comedy with Akah Nnani sending us into peels of laughter and proving that all it takes is skill and commitment to pull off a memorable performance.

Character-Poster-Serge

Patrick Diabuah was a sight for sore eyes and even though the movie did him little justice he still managed to give a stellar performance. Unfortunately, Chigurl’s character came off a tad bit confusing due to the various accent changes and the insincerity of her emotions during the particularly emotional scenes. It felt like she was playing multiple characters instead of one but the huge let down for me was her singing, particularly because I’ve heard her do way better.

Saheed Balogun managed to hold his end quite well and Makeeda Moka the Naija Ninja didn’t do too badly either.

Though a mesh of highs and lows, Banana Island Ghost takes credit for being a good attempt at what could’ve been an outstanding film.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

Listen to

Kale Ni by Ruby Gyang http://smarturl.it/RubyGyangKaleNi

Empty by Cobhams http://tooxclusive.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Cobhams_Asuquo_-_Empty_tooxclusive.com.ng.mp3

 

 

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Deaf: To Blow or Not to Blow

‘My guy this artiste go blow?’
‘Yes oh e go blow’
Two months later…
‘My guy that artiste nko?’
‘E neva blow oh!’

I fell in love with Eva’s ‘Deaf’ the first day I heard it, I’ve always been a fan of hers, so obviously the moment I found a cover of the same song by Boogey, I downloaded it but somehow never got round to listening to it until this morning and all I kept thinking was ‘ouch’.

I will not go into the various versions of the original story of Eva’s ‘near success syndrome’ , this isn’t about her but about the business of entertainment.
You wan blow?

My people, artiste management is not a prison cell, it’s a means to an end. I won’t dispute that some companies prey on the ignorance of their artistes but please, high is the price of ignorance, educate yourself.
No matter how good your talent, unless you have an unlimited supply of cash flowing from some unknown/known source like our ever-evolving Davido, omo mehn you can like to calm down for Jesus and get signed sharply.

Labels/Managements etc are there to give meaning and structure to your talent while you sit back and do what you were born to do and make money while you’re at it. If you like money too much then biko, get a lawyer to break down your contract to you so you know what you’re getting yourself into and don’t end up with a million naira lawsuit like our darling Brymo.

The real question however that has me deaf with need to write is, as an artiste ‘ARE YOU MANAGEABLE?’ Or do you think the sun sets and rises on your behind?
I don’t mean to be harsh (actually I do) but it’s quite annoying to see good talent go to waste just because ego and ignorance got the better success, especially in the Nigerian music industry where mediocrity is celebrated.

Now asides the fact that we take what’s dished to us, the talentless few have blown because they want to hammer and don’t mind subjecting themselves to structure so long as they get what they want.

PAUSE! Take out the blindfolds and re-read what I just said. Ok good, so where were we?

Yes are you manageable? Your talent is not enough, can you follow the rules long enough to fulfill your own dreams? I did not say drop your style or what genre you want to stick to oh, I said drop the pride, attitude and get to work!
Do you think doctors go around screaming ‘I’m gifted oh, I’m gifted ehen’ and the money just appears. They write some of the hardest exams that exist, serve under extreme tutelage and rip animals apart in preparation for the operating table and here y’all are hollering!

The international stars you claim to be your inspiration are doing it the right way and those that can’t are indie artistes who are quite content with gigging and a small followership of family and friends. Now, if that’s your aim by all means, do you but if the reverse is the case then, ‘whatchu saying?’

Fine, I’ll be nice, it hurts to see the semi-successes and natural deaths of talents that have the potential to change the nigerian entertainment industry, listen, learn and stop acting like you’re DEAF to the truth!

Download Deaf by Eva here

http://notjustok.com/2014/01/24/eva-deaf/

Download Deaf (cover) by Boogie here

http://www.jaguda.com/2014/04/02/new-music-boogey-deaf-remix/

IDEA 2 PRODUCT – Understanding The creative process

Meet James Omokwe, a friend of mine and CEO of Studio 84. He’s a Film maker, editor, director of photography, actor, rapper etc, yes, yes he’s gifted, go figure.

He shot his first movie ‘The Awakening’ which was nominated for Best film 2013 AMVCA 2014 and Best vfx in a movie AMAA 2013.
After which he shot Tromper for Ebony Life/Live tv.

I’d say he’s got some experience under his belt having worked with stars like
Oc ukeje, tope tedela, kehinde bankole, femi brainard, Bryan okwara, Kc ejelonu *phew* and the list goes on.

Join James here every monday as he shares his experiences with us and gives us a few point on how to make our ideas, products.

Enjoy

Lesson 1:

Introduction: Belief: Do something #Idea2Product

Please comment so we can serve you better

FREEDOM … if we dont fight, who will?…

FREEDOM IS THEATRE PRODUCTION BY “THE SPEAKING FEET PROJECT” of Krump Studios, THE OFFICIAL PRODUCERS OF “GREASE THE NAIJA MIX”.

FREEDOM IS A TRUE NIGERIAN STORY UNSPOKEN, UNSEEN, UNHEARD, UNWRITTEN. IT SHOWS HOW AN INDIVIDUAL CAN BE AFFECTED BY SOCIETAL ISSUES, THE INSECURITIES IN A COUNTRY WHERE UNDERDEVELOPMENT AND UNEMPLOYMENT IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY. WE WONDER WHEN AND HOW SUCH ISSUES WILL BE RESOLVED AND EXCOMMUNICATED TOTALLY SO WE WILL NEVER HAVE TO REVISIT THEM.

YES!!! THE YOUTH SEEK THE FREEDOM TO FOLLOW THEIR DREAMS, THE FREEDOM TO LIVE LIFE WITHOUT FEAR, THE FREEDOM TO LOVE, THE FREEDOM TO GROW AND THE FREEDOM TO DREAM. WHAT MORE CAN WE DO THAN FIGHT FOR THE FREEDOM TO BELIEVE, THE FREEDOM TO HAVE FAITH AND THE FREEDOM TO HOPE.

THE FREEDOM TO ARE YOU A YOUTH AT HEART, A LOVER OF PERFORMING ARTS, AN ASPIRING PERFORMING ARTIST, AN EXPATRIATE? THEN THIS IS A MUST SEE FOR YOU.

BE FREE!!!

COMING SOON TO THE CITIES OF ABUJA AND LAGOS!!!

FOR SPONSORSHIP AND ADVERT BOOKINGS
CALL 07035686227 or 08185651796
Or ff @krump_studios or @isysdrain on twitter
#FREEDOM

K-Pop: The 3rd Edition

Saturday, 26th July was a day of great excitement amongst the dance community in Abuja. It was the 3rd edition of KPop, a dance competition organised by the Korean cultural centre.
Crews came in from across the nation to compete for a spot in the finals and one of those teams were Pacific, an all-star dance crew based in Abuja, led by Eno Ekpenyong.

Kpop is a competition aimed at promoting pop culture, dance and culture exchange amongst youths in Nigeria and Korea. I had never been to any of the competitions so I was quite excited to see it first hand.
It held at the Women’s Development Centre, Abuja and was hosted by Six Foot Plus.

The program began with the recital of the Nigerian and Korean national anthems, an opening speech by the Korean ambassador and introduction of the judges and members of the high table.

The competition itself has three stages, the online entry stage in which all competing crews are to send in a video of the kpop idol they would like to be. The best crews are then drafted to compete at the final round in Nigeria, the winners of the finale then represent Nigeria at the international level in Korea.
The stakes were high, the dancers were ready and the battle was on for the title of kpop champions.

To kick off the competition, all the selected videos of the Kpop idols were played and one by one, crews took to the stage to give the performance of a life time.
In the first category was the secondary school category, made up of about 6 crews. The contestants put on quite a show, with vibrant costumes and high energy dance.
The second category was the professional category and the excitement from the crowd meant the battle had begun.
Each crew took to the stage, amongst them crews from Jos, Kaduna, Abuja, Lagos and Benin.

While the judges were compiling results,
Kpop veterans iDez and Elevators entertained the crowd with exciting performances including a group number to Psy’s ‘Gagnum style’.

The winners of the Secondary category were GSS girls gwagwalada with GSS boys gwagwalada coming in 2nd.

The winners of Professional category
In first place -C.i squad, second Pacific and Flyhigh came in third.

*phew* What a battle! It was an experience worth having and loads of fun. Keep dancing, Keep k-popping! I can’t wait for the 4th edition, can you?

To You…

To You,

You are not a dangote, you are my pastor
You are not my competitor, you are my partner
You are not perfect, you are perfect for me
You are my husband, my brother, my friend
You are mine to have, to love and to hold

You are my completion, the balance I yearn
You are the seeker of my heart, the mate to my soul, the keeper of my love.
I can sense you praying for me as I am praying for you
Ours will be a love that people pray for and children sing about
From this love we will bring forth perfection born from a love only God can give

So I pray for you each day
Knowing that you are on your way
Forever yours,

Your Wife

The Adventures of Isys Drain: On A Zaria P (Day 2)

With the passing of the night came the dawning of a gold Zaria morning, cool, dusty and peaceful, save the music blasting from the opposite apartment. It had been a long night, my host Paula, had done everything possible to make me comfortable, God bless her soul.

So Day 1 of the ‘Limitless Mind’ dance workshop, organized by The Redeemed Dance Ministry and supported by The Krump Dance studio, was here at last, with Miracle set to teach basic contemporary. I wasn’t quite sure if I was excited or nervous but nothing could’ve prepared me for what I was about to experience.

In Zaria, Hip-Hop is the only recognised style of dance and growth in dance as well as the performing arts is crippled by the conservative nature of Northeners who frown upon overly social activities, especially dance. Many a dancer have given up on dance, cowering under societal pressure and silently longing for change.

After breakfast, we set out for the venue which is called ‘ChopHouse’, Miracle in instructor mode, me… Well trying to ignore my allergies *covers face* #buttyproblems
Bushes handled set-up, while Miracle prepped and I got into an interesting conversatiom with a guy called Arthur, a talented graphics designer and tee-maker (cool tees coming soon!)

The class started soon enough with stretches which is quite intense for the dancers as contemporary was foreign territory to them. A lot of them barely made it through the first set of stretches, poor things.

Miracle then went into the basics of dance, elements of dance and the art of choreography. I was completely transfixed as I watched him give life to the dreans of the eager young people before him. When he began the ‘white space’ exercise, time stopped and he pulled out the soul of every dancer, including mine. It was an experience that words could not express, a feeling of joy, pain, need swept over the room, reducing some of the dancers to tears, dance was birthed before my very eyes.

The class ended with choreography done to Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball and To build a home by The Cinematic Orchestra.
20 dancers came in contact with their breakthrough, I make the 21st.

Lunch came and went, sleep followed suit, I was drained… Apiboi played host for my second night and my allergies kicked into overtime which wasn’t pretty at all. By the end of the day, I’d started to feel a tad ill, ah well… #buttyproblems
Bushes and Miracle left for their ‘crash site’ and I fell into a fitful sleep.

The day had served it’s purpose and my last night at Zaria had come. Day 2 of the workshop will be handled by Eno and he’ll be teaching Funk Jazz assisted by Justine. I won’t be there but y’all know I’ll have the gist…

#OnAZariaP

…Much love to bushes, sesan, paula, michael, gabby, apiboi, ty, meshach and the wonderful participants of the workshop…

Isys Drain

The Adventures of Isys Drain: On A Zaria P (Day 1)

So after experiencing the gruelling journey to Zaria from Kaduna, I must rename my adventure, bone #KDMovement this is On A Zaria P, the Road to Redeemed Dance Ministry’s first Dance workshop supported by Krump Studios.

#OnAZariaP

The day started off rather rough for me, having worked into the morning without recovering from Miracle’s hectic dance groove class the night before. Anyways, after a brief meeting with Mima and a deep breath, Miracle and I set out for the journey.

Mehn, I’ve gotta be delivered from road trips, I am not cut out for them at all. Funny thing is, I found the scenery quite fascinating for the part of the journey that I wasn’t busy groaning or feeling nauseous. Thankfully God blessed me with sleep, you know, the kind that distracts you from pain.

Sha, three hours and a couple of snores later, we got to the park and had to get a bus ( that was more of a human sandwich can) to some place called Samaru. Mehn, the squishing in that bus wasn’t funny, I jumped out like cat woman the moment we got to our stop.

Bushes ( my newest ‘baby’) was waiting for us at the stop and led us into the gates of ABU Zaria, the alma mater of some of the best people I’ve been blessed to have in my life, Jemima Angulu being one of them.
So far the school is… Well… ‘Schooly’ and conservative at that. It was quite interesting to be in a school environment again, I should feel old right? Well I don’t *shrugs*

I’m making acquaintances at the moment, the exco’s Gabby, Ruth, Blessing and Sesan are quite welcoming. Paula is amazing too, looks like this will be fun…
#OnAZariaP #KDMovement

Local Terrorists At A Global Summit

Hmm
Tweet rants are what birthed this post read carefully Nigerians and Pray for your country!

So lemme explain this in plain english.
Boko haram was created by northern politicians that realized that come 2015, the control of Nigeria’s oil rigs will be handed over to the Niger Delta region and their source of power will be lost. With GEJ in power he will ensure the right thing be done once he is re-elected but our greedy northern politicians don’t want that to happen. How else will they control the nation’s economy?

So boko haram was birthed. Rich northern politicians hired ignorant northern youths to do their dirty work by cajoling them into fighting a sharia war that does not exist to distract nigerians from the truth and paint GEJ bad so he will not be re-elected.
Young northerners are fighting a false war, dying as martyrs with a promise of heavenly rewards from hell-goers who claim to be god.

Poor GEJ’s inability to handle his public speeches and react to negative situations has aided the painting of his face black.
But he knows what’s happening and has refused to fight this battle, wise but not exactly the naija way of doing things (I mean, obasanjo would’ve leveled another village in warning na!)
Anyways, the northern pot-bellied politicians I was talking about earlier, don’t care about innocent killings, they’re on a mission ‘Keep our oil rigs and kick out GEJ before nigerians catch on’.

But boko-bombing isn’t all oh! The fake boko-kidnappings nko? The girls don’t have parents abi why are politicians wives leading protests on behalf of supposed ‘mourning mothers’?

GEJ may seem stupid to the nation and sometimes he can be (no offense Sir *bows low*) but he didn’t put the World Economic Summit together for nothing.
You see, local rats and trained guard dogs can’t reside in the same place and obviously the dirty politicians trying to ruin his campaign won’t stop, so he called in America – the terrorist hunters. Haven’t you noticed how boko-bombing has turned into peaceful #BringBackOurGirls Protests?
How dare local uneducated youths fight the terrorists that just buried Iraq?
They no fit.

Ah GEJ is smart. America wants to control our oil, so they’ll gladly offer security and turn it into a global war. Japan/China own our trade agreements so they are here to make sure America doesn’t overstep it’s boundary while GEJ markets our economy which is apparently more investment friendly than SA, see sense. GEJ isn’t good with public appearances but he’s a strategist.
With America bullying boko, he’ll be re-elected but here’s the catch America controls the oil that is already in Niger-Delta so it’s a win-win, boko haram dies a natural death and niger delta gets what it deserves with supervision by the Terrorist hunters.

Once the battle for oil no is longer an national issue, all the politicians will just calm down. The power don miss for yankee shores be that na (my pidgin sucks I know)

Now this is what will save GEJ’s image for the rest of his life, with oil out the way he should push for confederalism! Nigerians will never see beyond their religious and tribal differences if they are not forced to split from Federalism. There will be no more national cake, instead it’ll be ‘go and develop your state’ instead. If you are culturally biased, move back to your state oh! It’s not by force!
Then the competition will start, ‘my state must be better than yours’, fortunately lagos will be light years ahead of everyone else, they never had oil so they took a leaf from Dubai’s book and merged tourism with their love for partying!

In the blink of an eye Nigeria will be re-aligned with it’s God’s given destiny without a bloody revolution.
God loves Nigeria that’s why we haven’t ended up in War! I hope GEJ doesn’t mess up but something tells me this is has been his plan from the onset, so I will pray for him and forgive his wife for trying to destroy the foundations of my house with the bombshells she throws from Aso rock, so help me God!

Yes I said it… #Ntorr

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From my Heart to Yours

To You,
These days I can’t stop thinking about you, where you could be, what you are doing and if you are looking for me.
I don’t know if I’ve met you yet or if that day is close by but I do know that I’m waiting for you. I won’t pass time with shadows of you or date until you show up, I’ll just keep my heart open and pray for you till you find me.

I know you will love me as you love God, I know you seek me in Him and know Him as He lives in me. I know you are smart and creative and love art in all it’s forms. Together we’ll smile over the masterpiece we shall create.

I imagine the endless walks we’ll have, hand in hand talking about anything and everything. I’ll be safe with you and you with me. Ours will be a love worth fighting for, worth writing about, worth living.
We’ll speak the same language and share the same thoughts, we’ll be one , I your rib, you my heart.

You, me, we, us…

Till you find me though, here I am, head on my pillow, heart hidden with my Father, writing letters about our love and patiently waiting for you.

From Me

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Dear Diary – Ifeoluwa

I accept the love of God that has been available to me before my inception
That saved me before my acknowledgment of sin,
That speaks for me beyond my being.

I was born into love in an imperfect world
And this love inspired my name,
Ifeoluwa which is the love of God.
The love that birthed me however didn’t last
It fell apart and broke my heart
Leaving me searching for what I thought love was
Confusion set in as various shadows of the real thing tore me apart so bad
That I yearned for love yet had no idea how to receive it.

I could not find the love that was waiting patiently for me till it arrested me
Captured me and held tight
Not letting me go even though I struggled to escape it,
It was the love of my father,
He wept with me, He wept for me but amidst this He comforted me
Telling me He loved me

I heard Him but didn’t believe Him
I couldn’t identify what I felt,
I had been bruised into believing love was pain
I had been battered into equating love with hate
What was this He felt for me?
This life He gave to give me life, a light to save me from the dark
It was love…

I fought it so hard but couldn’t win against the power that suppressed me
I stopped long enough to look again and I saw it
It was love, the love of my Father, the love of God.
Words can’t describe it yet I try to share this feeling that has engulfed me with peace, hope, joy…
I fly wingless and I soar,
I walk on water knowing I’m safe

What I knew as love was not what He felt for me,
What He felt for me was the Love that He is,
A love He had for me before I knew,
I get it now and I receive the Love of God
After all, it is for Him I was named,
His first born, Ifeoluwa

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Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Service today was awesome! It was one of thanksgiving that ushered us into the month of April and the realization of who I am in Christ hit me with a renewed purpose.

Everybody hits rock bottom (or different versions of it) now and again. You know that time when all you see is a brick wall between you and the next best thing. That period of frustration, laced with depression and branded despair.

Oh yes, I know the feeling a little too well and it has never been pretty.
Every time I hit this point, I spiral down into an abyss that leaves me helpless, worthless and ashamed. My ability to create dims until it becomes a shadow of what I am capable of, my worries become my nightmares and fear keeps me asleep with eyes wide shut, forcing me never see beyond of the circumstance I’m in.
Even when I’ve reached a point where I know I have to get up and out, I fight so hard to fly with wings that aren’t mine to direct.
Sad, is what it is… Sad

But when I have fallen from the flesh that fights to suffocate me into the Spirit that yearns to save me, I encounter a spiritual revival that sets me straight and this is what has happened to me today.
I rededicated myself to the Source, God Himself and the rivers of water flowed through me, unlocking the doors of limitations, setting me free. I went from being unable to do a thing to being hyper-creative. The inspiration is from God, the joy is of God and my life is for God.
And with this revolution came a revelation of thanksgiving.

I am a first generation Christian and I have faced the troubles of coming from a Christ-less (Muslim) home alone with no one to help me but God, yet here I am. The testimony following this encounter was my baby brother revealing to me how he too had eaten of the bread and drunk of the blood. Indeed my brother is saved too and I couldn’t be happier.
In addition, doors of opportunity have opened up and I know that I am a changed person, wrapped in favor and dipped in grace.

The Word I leave for you is…
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and it’s righteousness and all

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The Adventures of Isys Drain: Football Saturday

Guys take football way too seriously jor, if there was a dollar paid to fans for every match won by their teams, guys would be rich. Today at Jabi lake, the Krump Studios crew split up into two teams for their first in-house football match.

It Was Epic!

On team A was Miracle, Justin , Victor, Tabitha and the Queen Krump herself Mima while team B had Frankie, Princess, Uche, Eno and Praise our favorite salsero. The match started with friendly comradery until the goals started dropping. The game got tougher and soon enough both teams had two goals a piece. The attack line from Team B definitely put a lot of pressure on Team A but surprisingly Tabitha (Team A’s keeper) stepped up nicely. Team B’s effortless team work won them the game fair and square with 3 goals to 2.

I had fun screaming. Hold up I can see the looks y’all are getting, let me bring it to your notice ehn, I’m not cut out for playing football. Why would I place myself in the midst of raging boys trying to kick a ball? I could get hurt! Heck no, my skills are for the side-lines only 😉 . Anyhu moving on, it was an awesome day. The winners won movie night together sponsored by the losing team, the way forward if you ask me.

I managed to famz in one picture and collect a few for this post enjoy and see you at the next match!

P.s. For dance and fitness services check out Krump Studios, 31, Alex Ekweme street, Jabi or call 08185651796

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The Adventures of Isys Drain : Friday’s Intervention

I’ve been looking forward to this weekend and now that’s it’s here, it’s turning out to be my best weekend this month.

After an extremely productive week, the tension and pressure I was under had started to take it’s toll. I knew I was in need of an intervention and music by a genius was the definitely the way to go.
Now when I say genius I can only mean one person and that is Atta Lenell (I honestly can’t get over the visit *gushes*). We caught up on all the gist we’d missed out on (which was quite a lot) since we hadn’t seen each other in almost a year.

After that, Atta started to paint the musical story of our time apart with strings, chords and other things.
My face lit up as every new transformation opened me up to a different side of every voice I heard, causing me to see good in myself as well as the awesomeness being played. Atta had indeed been busy giving life to songs by John Oga, Kenny and Jessica Bongus Ikuwe.

The mood had been set, I was floating on air and just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, Atta’s impressive writing shook hands with his guitar and the experience went ‘deep’. Nothing gets me more than music with substance and a dash of uniqueness. The entire experience was surreal, words can’t truly do justice to the impact it had on me.

I obviously haven’t gotten over the awesomeness but I can’t be blamed *blush*. Atta is the future of good music in this country and no, afro-pop doesn’t fall into that category for me.

I drifted all the way home after that and slept like a baby. I’m blessed to be surrounded by talented people and Atta Lenell is definitely one of them.

Next stop football with @Krumpstudios

P.S. Follow Atta @Attalenell on twitter and check out his website attalenell.com

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Corporate Ties: The Night Cap

I shouldn’t be here! I shouldn’t be here! I should turn around and leave before she notices my car in the drive way. I’d been telling myself this for about 20mins as I sat parked in front of Lana’s house.
I wasn’t going to show up, I’d gone to get a drink and found myself heading to her house.
I kept telling myself it was because Teju had to work this weekend and I was bored but I knew I just wanted to see her again. I had been fine, till she’d shown up unannounced at the office.
‘Brrring brrring’
It was Lana
‘Hi’
‘Hi’
‘I suspect you’re the one parked in my driveway, the house girl’s been watching you and just asked me if she should call our security’
‘I’m sorry’
‘Well wait there, I’ll be down in a second’ she said and hung up.
So much for escaping, I thought. ‘I might as well strap myself in for the ride’ I said to myself as Lana made her way to the car in a jumpsuit that left little to the imagination.

‘Hey stranger’ she said as she got into the passengers seat.
‘So we’re not staying here’ she continued ‘we’re going to the town house in VGC, seems more appropriate’.
I started the car and listened as she gave me directions.

*** *** ***
This isn’t a house, it’s a mansion ‘ I said as we drove in. I got out the car and stared at the gigantic building in front of me.
‘I’m happy you like it’ she said grabbing my hand
‘Come on let’s go in’
I couldn’t help thinking of what could be done with all that space as she pulled me in to the living room.
It was the size of a football field! The walls were white and immaculate interrupted by a painting or portrait. The furniture smelt new and the rugs were plush and black. To the left was what seemed liked a mini-cinema complete with elevated seating and what was probably the biggest tv I’d ever seen…

‘Ok so sit and explain to me why have you been avoiding me? She said.

‘I haven’t been avoiding you’ I said trying to sound convincing as I looked hurriedly away. What was I supposed to say? I have a girlfriend who’d kill me if she’d found out, a boss who’d fire me and I can’t trust myself when I’m around you? Nah, I thought shaking my head slightly, lying was easier.
‘Anyways, I didn’t think I’d see you again?’ I went on.
‘I didn’t think I’d see you after that night either, which was quite a night, if I might add’, she had this grin on her face that had me smiling. I had to admit, it had been one hell of a night and if things were different… Calm down I thought to myself, this isn’t the time to ponder on the ‘if’s ‘ and ‘maybes’ of that night.

Lana didn’t seem to mind my silence as she seemed to be busy with thoughts of her own.
‘Well, this is awkward’ she said, ‘let me show you around and maybe we could find something to watch afterwards’ she continued as she pulled me out of the seat.

We walked through the house, hand-in-hand as she talked about the house, her family and the artwork. She was like a child talking about her favorite toy. Her eyes sparkled in the light and her ponytail swayed, lightly brushing her back, as she turned her head this way and that. We went up a flight of stairs, ‘these are made of mahogany from india’ she was saying as I eyed the banisters which had intricate patterns carved into them. We made our way across the landing in a room which held an indoor pool with a beautiful view overlooking the acres and acres of greenery that made up this vast piece of property. The pool itself was empty, but it glistened as the rays of sunlight hit it giving it a somewhat ethereal look as the light bounced off the walls.

We moved from room to room till finally we came to what looked like the master bedroom. I felt like an intruder as I stood at the door, gaping at the luxury suite before me. I wonder how much money these people really have, I thought as allowed Lana pull me in.
I sat on the bed, trying to take it all in when Lana kissed me. She’d caught me completely off-guard with it and I braced myself in time for the next one. Her lips tasted sweet and she smelled of candy floss. Her arms circled my neck, tugging gently on the tufts of my hair. I was falling, plummeting actually, into her kiss when I remembered Teju and Mr Grant and sat up gently pushing Lana away.

‘This isn’t right’ I finally said, ‘your dad is my boss and I have a girlfriend that you happen to have met’.
I got up and walked to the window, not trusting myself to look back at Lana’s now slightly swollen lips or steamy eyes. If only she wasn’t so beautiful, I thought to myself for the umpteenth time.
Just then, l heard a thud. I turned to see Lana standing, a surprised look on her face. The sound came again, only this time I could’ve sworn I’d heard laughter.
Lana walked towards the sound, which seemed to be coming from the adjourning bathroom.

I moved past her, determined to shield her from whatever it was, when the door opened abruptly.
There before me was Teju, hair wet, naked save the towel wrapped loosely around her waist and Mr Grant, in a white terry robe, holding her to his chest.

The Adventures of Isys Drain: My First Hip-Hop Class

Now I know what you’re thinking… Me… Hip-hop… How?
Well believe it or not I had my first hip-hop class today. Krump studios hosted it’s first workshop for the year with Carl James of Mobile Dance Academy (MDA) and Ibrahim Suleiman (Captain Quest) of Soul Quest and I was privileged to be a part of it.

It kicked off with Latin, which for me (being a social salsa dancer and all) was brutal! My body was doing the exact opposite of what my head was saying, which isn’t difficult when you’re moving your hips, waist, feet and arms at the same time. Anyways, we did a crash basic class in Salsa, Samba and Paso Doble, with Carl cutting us no slack at all. It was fun, tiring and frustrating. I mean Carl was moving his hips better than mine for pete’s sake! Worse, I’m not sure I still know where my hips are after that class!

After two and half hours of swaying hips and stomping feet, we moved on to hip-hop which was probably the most enlightening experience for me, not just because I got to sit down through the whole thing,listen and observe, but also because I’d never met a professional hip-hop dancer who is as refined (for lack of a better word) as ‘Captain Quest’.
He took us through Musicality 101. He explained the essence of accounting for every sound one chooses to emphasize in any given piece of music, the need to understand your body, the music and the message essentially passed across to give a meaningful performance.

The greatest lesson I did learn today however was about loyalty. As creative people, we yearn for freedom to express without restriction. We are self-acclaimed geniuses and sometimes unwilling followers. In an industry that barely exists, thriving as a dancer is tough and money dictates to many, one must marry passion with structure and submit to an authority that will and can speak for you.

That said, y’all know I do not have a hiphop bone in my body. So this class was perfect! Of course I did well, I mean I just gave you full gist na and I didn’t have to pop, lock or do a windmill! Anyways it was a great way to spend my sunday and another opportunity to be around talented people!

For more on dance classes, training and fitness rush down contact
Krump Studios @ 31, Alex Ekweme street, Jabi or Call 08185651796

Corporate Ties: The Visit

‘You lying son of a bitch’ Teju screamed as she threw a pot my way.
I barely missed it but was rewarded with the huge clang it made as it hit the wall behind me. ‘I’ll kill you’ she yelled, I moved towards her and the knife I hadn’t seen her hold went into my stomach, I watched the blood spill as…

‘Shit!’ I hissed as I jolted back to reality. Another late night at work and I’d nodded off in the staff lounge. I hadn’t recovered from the shock of seeing Lana again or the fear of Teju and my boss finding out about us. It didn’t help that Lana had slipped her number to me while Teju had made a quick trip to ladies room.
I was torn between calling her and burning the damn card with her number on it.
I grabbed a mug and hurriedly made myself a cup of coffee. I had a ton of work waiting for me and an impossible deadline to meet,dwelling on my woman trouble wouldn’t exactly get the work done, I thought to myself as walked back to my desk.

*** *** *** *** ***

I heard her before I saw her, her soft accented voice as she came down the hall. Lana was here, at work, after hours, phone held to her ear, eyes bright and looking as stunning as ever. She threw me a glance and walked into her father’s office.
My heart did a couple of somersaults despite my attempts to ignore the fact that she was here.
If only she wasn’t so beautiful… And smart… And articulate… And…
‘Yes father, now please let’s leave, it’s bad enough that I had to pick you up this late…’ She said as walked out of Mr Grant’s office.
‘Well darling, how else would I get home?’
They both laughed as they made their way to the elevator.

‘ Good night Feyi, I see you intend to slave away for a while longer’ came Mr Grant’s voice as he stepped into the lift.

‘ Uh yes goodnight sir’ I said not daring to look up.

I stared hard at my laptop waiting patiently for the elevator door to close. I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath till I heard the bell signifying the lift was heading down.
She hadn’t said a word to me. Perhaps, she hated me for not calling. After all it has been a week since the dinner but I was right not to, I mean, I’m not equipped for an affair? Doesn’t help that she’s the boss’s daughter, my job’d be on the line, and then there’s Teju…

‘Hi’
I jumped out of my seat. There Lana was standing in front of me.
‘Calm down, it’s just me’ she said
‘I came back up to get daddy’s jacket’ she said moving closer to my table.
‘Also, why haven’t you called me yet? I don’t bite you know’ she said as she walked into her father’s office. I wasn’t sure whether to follow or stay put but she was out before I made up my mind.
‘ So daddy’s out of town this weekend, business I suspect’ she said as she jotted on my notepad.
‘Come over, let’s talk, don’t see why we can’t be civil towards each other hon’ she winked
‘ Yes, yes, you’re right I’m sorry’ I muttered.
‘ He speaks at last’
‘I’m sorry, I was a bit… Well I wasn’t expecting to see you here’ I blurted.
‘My father does work here you know, besides if you weren’t so busy avoiding me, you would’ve known’ she said rolling her beautiful eyes at me.
‘ Anyways, be a sport, come keep me company on saturday, let’s at least talk’ she smiled sweetly.
‘Besides you make a mean conversation when you’re not tongue-tied and playing the shy card’ she said as she turned and walked away, leaving me to stare at the address she’d given me.

The Day He Said No

It was that green bottle’s fault!
I was fine with my indomie, egg and water till I spotted it, cold and temptingly green.
I turned away, not wanting to succumb to its call but the drasted bottle stayed within sight, winking at me in a million tiny bubbles…

I reached for water but the bottle came to me instead. I had to have it, my meal would not be the same without it, so I did what was only right that I do…
I asked if I could have it.
Little did I know that the image of that green bottle had been his motivation for the day, the one thing he was looking forward too, so of course he said no!

http://images-01.delcampe-static.net/img_large/auction/000/204/691/764_001.jpg?v=4

Not once, not twice but three times did he say that awfully disappointing word that shattered my dreams of a fully sumptuous meal.
NO!
A word he never said to me…
It was that green bottle’s fault, that drasted bottle winking at me in a million bubbles…

Corporate Ties: The Dinner

I held both ties up in front of the mirror. Blue or Purple? *sigh* what was one supposed to wear to dinner with the boss anyway?
I eyed the outfit I’d picked out and shook my head.
Mr Grant definitely was bourgie folk, he’d made reservations at Chateau de Rouge and I’d all but talked Teju out of splurging on a new dress, now I wish I’d gotten myself a new outfit too.
Settling for the purple tie, I jumped out of my clothes and into the shower, Buble’s soft voice playing from the room…

**** **** **** ****
Teju looked stunning in the little black number she’d chosen for the night making me feel a lot more confident as walked up to our table.
I soon spotted Mr Grant, hair slicked back in a pony tail as he easily wore a black Armani suit with a white shirt loosely opened at the neck. Could the man be anymore intimidating? He smiled and waved us casually into our seats.

‘Good evening Sir, this is a lovely place’ I said taking his outstretched hand.
‘Oh it’s nothing, I’ve been coming here since it opened’ he said laughing as I helped Teju into her seat.
‘This is my girlfriend Teju’ I said,
They shook hands and I braced myself for the onslaught of an evening with boss.

Things went pleasantly, we had wine and shrimps and talked about everything from the weather to the match against Chelsea. Well, Mr Grant and Teju did most of the talking, I just nodded and kept an eye on my watch.
I heard her before I saw her and my heart jumped into my mouth as I literally choked on my drink.
‘Ah finally, honey’ Mr Grant said as he stood to kiss her on the cheek. Lana kissed him back and apologized for being late ‘Bloody island traffic’ she said shaking her head. She caught my eye and smiled,
‘Daddy introduce us won’t you’ she said sitting beside Mr Grant.
‘Oh yes my manners, Lana meet Feyi from the office and Teju his beautiful and rather interesting girlfriend’ he said winking at Teju who, I couldn’t believe, was giggling like a teenager.

This was going to be one long dinner, I groaned inwardly and prayed for a miracle

Corporate Ties: The Meeting

It had been two weeks since Alex’s party and even though I was drowning in work, I couldn’t seem to get her out of my head. Lana…
She was a rare blend of everything my dream woman was meant to be, classy, smart and a natural beauty. *Sigh*
Teju was better suited as a buddy when placed in comparism with Lana. It wasn’t fair to do that, she’d been my friend for two years and girlfriend for six months and to be honest, she was the closest I’d come to a serious relationship in a long time but I’d never been able to shake the feeling that we were friends with benefits, even after I had finally asked her out over christmas.

I should feel guilty, I thought to myself, I’d spent the night with a stranger and there my girlfriend was trusting me to be the loyal boyfriend while she was away. I’d never cheated on her and though it wasn’t a good enough excuse, Lana was a taste of something different. Besides Teju wasn’t going to find out anyway, what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her and I never got Lana’s number so chances of seeing her again were slim.
I snapped out of my reverie as Alex dumped a pile of documents in front of me.

‘Sorry bruv, new department head just got in and asked for you to sort this out, plus meeting at his office is in…’ He checked his watch, ‘ 5mins, see you in a bit’.

I groaned, hibernated my laptop and walked over to the boss’s office. Work had resumed with a couple of surprises, the company had hired a team of managers from Alias Clark to replace all managerial staff which meant we all had new bosses. I’d heard about the new guy in our department, smart fella in his mid-forties with a rather intimidating resume. Hadn’t gotten to meet him though, so the timing was perfect.

A small crowd had formed in front of his office, I planted myself on a table at the back of the crowd just out of sight as his door opened.
‘Good day, I’m Bode Grant’ came a loud, nasal voice. He was definitely not what I was expecting. At about 6 feet, he towered over the crowd, his lips thin, nose pinched with beady dark eyes and dreadlocks tied back in a pony tail. His body looked like it was about to pop out of his suit as his muscles bulged dangerously. Jesus! This guy could pass for a bouncer at a night club, except perhaps for the british accent.

I’d barely gotten over the sight of the man, when I got nudged in the side.
‘I asked for your name, you don’t seem to be here’ he said looking pointedly at me.
‘Sorry, I’m Feyi, Feyi Shittu’ I said standing to my feet.
Everyone else introduced themselves as I watched the clock tick. The last name was said and Mr Grant went into a speech of how he intended to change things and improve the quality of work churned out by the department. A few minutes later we were done and he summoned me into his office.

‘Feyi, I’m told by your former head of department that you are being considered for a promotion’.

My jaw dropped as I stood opposite him.

‘By the look on your face I am guessing you weren’t told’.

I nodded for lack of a better response.

‘Well, I’d like to take you out this evening and get to know you a bit better before putting my name on your reference’, ‘bring a date, I’ll mail you the details’.

‘Uh thanks… Uh Sir’ I said barely getting the words out. I was still in shock, I had been convinced that Mr Soji had hated me. I was the only one who worked extra hours, got sent on business trips and external meetings that no one ever wanted to go to, not to mention being on the receiving end of his endless tantrums, yet all this time he’d been pushing for my promotion.

I walked back to my table and a smile crept to my face. Dinner with the new boss, not bad. I picked up my phone and dialed Teju.

Corporate Ties : The Hook-up

This was definitely what I needed, I thought to myself as four bikini clad girls jumped into Alex’s indoor pool. I smiled as I turned back to the bar, nodding to the bartender for a refill.
Work had become a nightmare, my relationship a bore and my friends… Well I didn’t exactly have time for them except Alex of course…

It had been a huge relief when management announced the office having to close down for a week for security installments or whatever. It was my first break in five months and Alex had thrown a party to celebrate.
And celebrate I shall, I thought to myself as I grabbed my glass and made my way through the crowd in search of good conversation.

*** *** *** ***

I must’ve been out for two hours because it had grown darker outside and the party was in full swing. I struggled to sit up, wondering how I had managed to sleep over all the noise when I saw her sitting opposite me. She had long dark legs that went up into an emerald green dress . Her hair was held up at the back of her head and she wore drop earrings that brushed her shoulders. I was surprised yet pleased to see the lack of make-up as I studied her face, her lips full, slowly stretching into a smile, her beauty striking and natural. It took five whole seconds for me to realize that she had been talking to me,
‘Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare and drool’, she passed me a paper towel and my tongue came unhinged in time for me to say thank you.
‘I’m Lana and my feet are killing me’ she said as she leaned forward to unstrap her ankle length boots. Her breasts pressed against her knees threatening to pop out of her strapless dress.
‘What do you do? If you talk that is?’ She asked.
She waited patiently for me to open my mouth again and I eventually obliged, sputtering to life.

We talked, flirted, drank. It was easy, interesting and undemanding. Her accent gave her a refined air which suited her perfectly. She had this bubbly laughter and her nose wrinkled every time she took a sip from her glass. It was cute.
As the night drew on, we moved to a cozy corner in the living room and huddled up on the couch talking, sharing a kiss and a shot, oblivious to everything around us.
Alex walked up to us, a lady on each arm and after kissing them both, threw me a key, winked and left. Lana took the key and pulled me up. We stumbled down the hall way in search of the door to which the key belonged. Three tries and a make-out session later, we found it and fell into the room giggling like teenagers.

We rolled on the plush carpet and she started unbuttoning my shirt. I kicked the door shut lazily and reached for the zip at the back of her dress, kissing her neck lightly as I took in her perfume.

She, I , we… My name was the last thing I heard as I gave into the night…

*** *** *** ***
I waded in the water as the clouds rained dark chocolate from the sky. It formed a puddle that rose into the shape of a woman. She walked towards me with her arms outstretched. I held her in a tight embrace and she whispered in my ear. It was a shrill sound, I tried to make out what she was saying when…
‘Brrrring, brrrrring’ I groaned and rolled over
‘Brrrrring, brrrrring’.
Damn it! My alarm! I reached for my trousers and yanked out my phone. With one eye closed, I turned off the alarm. I rolled on to my back, then sat up.
‘Lana?’ I said getting up to check the bed.
‘Lana?’ I opened the bathroom door, she wasn’t there.

I sat on the bed and tugged at the pillow.
A sheet of paper fell to the floor, it was a note.
‘Last night was fun, Love Lana’
I turned it over hoping to find a number or something but that was it.
I sighed, got under the sheets and went back to bed.

The Bucket List

Bucket List

Bucket List

The Bucket List is an awesome movie if you’ve never seen, I obviously have and I thought I’d watch it again this morning…

This is what happens when your neighbors refuse to get a divorce and resume fights at 3am in the morning (in case you were wondering)

Anyways, after watching the movie again (and blubbering like a two year old) I asked myself what would be on my Bucket List.

Before I go on to answer that, I must tell you how petrified I am of death. I know it’s unavoidable and if you lead a good life you’ll go to heaven and all but that doesn’t change the fact that death is scary as hell… (No pun intended)
I mean how does the soul leave the body? Is it painful? ( I hear even voldermort had to experience some human feeling when he split his soul into those horcruxes *shudders*). Do you wake up in the grave or roam the earth till judgment day or just haunt some old house till infinity *shudders*

Bottom line, I hate death but since I can’t avoid it I’ve decided to try my hand at writing my own bucket list (which is almost as scary)

*takes deep breath*

The Bucket List of Isys Drain

Below reads the list of things I’d love to do before I die *drum roll please*

1. Buy all the Harry Potter books to add to my library

2. Be known for being the best at every single thing that I’m a part of

3. Fall in love (for real…, you know the never ending kind)

4. Marry a multiracial husband, have curly haired babies and adopt a mexican/chinese kid( shouldn’t these be seperate?)

5. Travel the world in 80days and write about it… (What? Childhood fantasies are allowed na)

6. Own a school of arts before I’m 50

7. Build a local library and bookstore in every community I’ve lived in

8. Start a book club

9. Learn how to play the piano before I’m 50

10. Learn how to speak hausa and italian at some point in my life ( I mean it’s taking forever, mschew)

11. Be part of a live audience of So You Think You Can Dance! (And meet Nigel while at it!)

12. Have latin ballroom and contemporary certifications before I’m 35 ( I mean, someone’s gotta teach the kids 😉 )

13. Help export Nigerian Art and Culture (it’s about time dontchu think)

14. Own a recreational centre if I can…

15. Sponsor education for 1 child every year for 10years…

16. Go treasure hunting…

17. Definitely try bunjy jumping (not in nigeria oh!

18. See cirque de solie live ( and maybe bring it to nigeria *hmm*)

19. Leave a comprehensive will for my children

20. Collect every disney cartoon that exists before I start having kids

21. Own a tour bus mehn!

22. Be genuinely surprised

23. Oh yeah and try swimming with dolphins (at sea world oh, as shark dey real sea so…)

24. Write a best selling novel, then make a movie adaptation

25. Meet Darren Criss

26. And of course, own my very own empire (legacy tinz)

Hmm… the list may be modified at some point in time, but these are the things I hope to do before I die…

*sigh* it actually wasn’t so bad writing it. Have you ever written a bucket list? Have you seen the movie? You should do both and share if you like 😉

Leiber Lover

Urgh! It took me 16 days to respond to this, shame on moi. Let’s see, where am I supposed to start? *eyes deolu bubble’s list of instructions and scratches head*

Though I must say, who’d’ve thought my blog’d be nominated for anything? Didn’t think anyone noticed its existence or wait was Deolu Bubble trying to psyche me up so he could set p? Hmm…

It might be genuine love sweety but Wana beat u to it, *adjusts bra* but I digress….

This Leiber definition sef, *copy and paste from Deolu Bubbles blog*, who’s that complaining? Deolu dubbed too na, I must follow the leader God no go vex abeg, no be exam :p

So, the Leiber award apparently is an award given to up and coming bloggers with under 200 wordpress followers, the leibster award originated in Germany and Leibster means ‘dearest or beloved’ and leibe is ‘love’.

Hian sounds like a weird word made up by Justin Beiber fanatics singing ‘ then I saw his face, now I’m a be-lieber!’ *snorts* sorry guys just couldn’t help myself *chuckles*

The Rules *yawns*

1.Thank the person who nominated you
2. List 11 random facts about yourself. Answer the questions they have asked you
3. Nominate 11 other people
4. Ask the nominees 11 questions
5. Last and thankfully the least, let them know you have nominated them.

Choi I tire, ehen oya lets do this…

Thank you ‘Deolu Bubble for nominating my blog out of obscurity, God go make you bigger and deliver you from your sexcapades that keeps us running to read all your R-rated posts! Plenny of love (plus some kiss assing of course). Not sure if anyone else nominated me but eh, if anyone did I extend the same love to you (no homo ladies). Ah ha moving on…

11 random facts about me, hmm how do I do this without boring you guys to death
1.I’m totally awesome
2.I’m a rebel
3. Football bores me to pieces (sorry guys)
4. Hi I’m Isys and I’m a recovering twitter addict and an unapologetic bb addict
5. I’ve got a hot butt for the guys who were wondering 😉
6. I’m an artist but who isn’t these days?
7. I secretly wish Abacha would come back just to shoot GEJ while Obasanjo has a field day burning down all the Boko haram settlements
8. I am a bonafide foodist!
9. Yes and despite my obvious weirdness I’m a Christian, go figure
10. I’ve got a nice big afro GO BLACK POWER! GO AFRO –CENTRIC ME!
11. Did I mention how I awesome I was?* Pouts at mirror*

Are y’all still here? Ok good so now to answer Deolu’s questions which I’ve been dreading for a fortnight, Hian!

How old were you when you got your cherry popped?

12 , didn’t exactly have the chance to say no but yeah shit happens…

Skydiving or Bungee Jumping?

Well both freak me out like no mans business but I’d say sky diving,it might be cool to fly like a bird in another life

Jollof rice or fried rice?

Is that even a question? Fried rice na

Your highest point in life till date

Not sure really, probably the day I got saved #JesusTinz

Linda ikeji or Toolz?

Deolu, seriously? I resemble man, hian! Although that Toolz babe ehn …

Feyikogbon or gboromiro?

Uh… what is that?

Your most expensive possession

My property I guess *starts counting*

The sexiest asset on your body

Well that’s pretty obvious, even Timaya had to do a track just for me *shakes bum in the mirror* 😉

Get even or forgiveness?

Forgiveness, Why would I let someone live rent free in my mind when I’ve more important stuff to focus on, Why?

Nkem Owoh or Mr. Ibu?

I dunno either, I’m afraid.

*phew* and that is over, halleluyah *wipes brow*

Ok so my nominees are, drum roll pls!
@oluwawanababa @sirkastiq @vixenpixie @haemlet_ @tomboxe @ms_einsteinette @cumical @jeremytargert @theGeekyMidget. @deolububbles and zubair

Pls note: I expect a bottle of malt plus a hand written thank you note for this nomination eh hen! Something for something, na Naija we dey.
Hmm so my questions hehe *rubs palms together*

1.What would you do if you found a bag full money laying idle on the road side?
2. If you were asked why you were on earth what would you say?
3. Would you come back as a Nigerian if given a second chance at life?
4. Are you bored yet?
5. What’s your biggest turn on? (sexual)
6. Fruits or vegetables?
7. How long can you go without sex? (be honest boys)
8. Disney or Marvel?
9. Beauty or brains?
10. No seriously aren’t you bored yet?
11. Would you date/marry a chic/dude whose got a kid?

And finally, for real this time, it’s over. What torture Deolu has subjected me to, I mean I love you partially and all but even the Grammy’s doesn’t require all this grammar for nominee selection choi!
And with that I shall quit my whining and let you all get back to living a nice and normal life, safe y’all wana’s moi-moi is calling my name!
*rushes to playbookutunu next door*

Skin and Bones

Who are you? What are you?
Better yet is there a you behind those big brown eyes constantly shining like a deer in headlights with innocence written in the lies across your face?
A tormented soul darker than the dredges deep down under, suppressing the light yet killing the good that fights to rescue the nothingness that you are but can’t see.

A mask can only cover your face, it will not hide your identity, expressed through every manipulative action carefully calculated to draw the pity from which you derive your ‘victim’ status. Tiny and helpless you, the biggest con the big-hearted have ever met, draining them of the love they want to share and returning it with frustration, pain and rage just to get a kick.

You know not who you are yet you feel you know what you want, completely oblivious to what you need. Can’t you see that you’ve got all that you want? No you can’t, because you never really did want it, it just makes you feel better having it just in case what you actually want doesn’t show up.

How pathetic! You wouldn’t recognize the truth even if slapped you in the face, you’d probably just enjoy the excuse for another pity party.
The thin line between obsession and insanity is non-existent, because you’re fighting so hard to hold on to what you’ve already lost. The devil need not teach you to die, you’re the master of your own downfall but of course he’ll take the credit!

Who are you?
Are you just a name, that evokes anger from the hottest fires when mentioned?
Are you a lie that can not speak the truth of its deeds?
Has the darkness enveloped you beyond rescue?
Do you even care that you’re not who you are meant to be, but rather a shadow darker than the shadow you cast? Dead on the inside, yielding lifeless fruits that bring out the worst in what ought to be good.

You are nothing but all you choose to be, but to me you are just skin and bones!

Movie Review: The Tribunal

I would like to start by saying that Kunle Afolayan has majorly dropped the ball this year with his film making. This particular review has been a long time coming .

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The Tribunal is a film centered on the discrimination faced by albinos in the work place. Ifeanyi Umoh, is a young banker who has been relieved of his duties as a result of his boss who, according to Ifeanyi, has a huge disapproval of albinos. He hired himself a lawyer and set out to get justice and hopefully his job back.

First of all, this is a subject matter relevant to the Nigerian society, one that has never really been addressed. However, the film did not quite have as much of an impact as I would have liked. The story fell flat leaving us with little reason to stay awake.

The film had more dialogue than action and cast like Omotola Jolaade seemed to only present to give sultry stares, glances and smirks. It almost felt as though she had been cast in a silent film.

Screenshot-206

Ade Laoye did her character justice and played her role to the fullest of what she was given to work with as a young, enthusiastic and passionate lawyer. Also worth commending is new comer Damilola Ogunsi as Ifeanyi Umoh.   He played the frustrated employee to the ‘t’ and was able to draw some emotion towards his character. Sadly, other cast fell flat as the movie gave very little to depth to them and left us hanging on to unending dialogue.

The Tribunal is a movie that could have been quite the drama had more thought been put into the details, story telling and directing. I do hope Kunle Afolayan can make a decent come back as this has definitely damped my expectations.

Rating

1.5/5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet: Arit Okpo

Arit Okpo is one of Africa’s fastest rising media personalities. She takes risks and sheds light on issues that are mostly ignored in Nigeria. Unafraid to express herself, Arit is definitely worth meeting. Enjoy.

Arit-Okpo

 

– Who is Arit Okpo?

Career wise, Arit is a media entrepreneur. I provide media services ranging from production, event hosting, voice overs to writing for a wide variety of contexts and formats. Personally, Arit is a traveler, walking through life and building a life brighter and more colourful than I have ever dreamed

 

– How would you say your early life has shaped you?

I grew up with a mother who did everything doable. She was an extremely hard worker and from an early age, I learned that hard work wasn’t something to run away from or be afraid of. I was also a very imaginative child, and I think that this freedom to lose myself in my imagination has carried over to a life in the media and as a writer

 

– What’s one of your most memorable experiences from childhood?

Gosh I have so many…hmmm…ok, my nursery school featured in one of those NTA exchange programs. I got to present an episode for NTA IMO, wearing traditional gear. It’s funny that over 2 decades later, I ended up doing it as a career

–  Take us on a brief journey through your professional life

Hmmm, where do I start? Ok, I started my professional career as the assistant to a school owner, in about 6 months, she promoted me to assistant administrator. I left after a couple of years and moved to Lagos where I worked as an artiste manager for a while. Back to Abuja, I did some work in PR, Production and then back to education. It was during my second stint in Education that the opportunity at Ebonylife came about

– *  From working at Tender years to producing for Ebonylife TV, how did this happen and why?

Ok, I had been working at Ebonylife for a year or so when I started to feel that I wanted to explore my horizons further. I sat down and wrote a 25 year plan, starting with registering my educational consultancy and ending with me as Minister of Education (no jokes!) 2 months after that, I got a call from Mo Abudu. She had remembered me from The Debaters (a reality show that she executive produced) and wanted me to come host a news show on the Channel. I quietly folded up my life plan, threw a side eye to Heaven and took the job

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– We have been major fans of EL Reports and the Crunch, please share what your aims were for both shows.

For both shows, the aim was to make news a conversation that the everyday person could relate to. We end up in a lot of bad situations as citizens because we don’t know what is going on in the country or we don’t think that we need to know or care. I wanted to make news mainstream. I wanted to raise topics and have people say “Oh wow, I didn’t know that was happening”. And I wanted to do it in easily digestible fashion, so that people didn’t get overwhelmed. I think I succeeded

– In an ever changing entertainment industry, what would you say are the challenges faced by creatives in Nigeria?

Creatives need to learn the business of their craft. So many creatives don’t understand the market value of their work, and this is fine if you don’t need your craft to feed you. But if you expect a career from your craft, you must learn the naira and kobo of it. Many creatives in Nigeria keep getting cheated and eventually disillusioned, because they get into business partnerships with people who aren’t looking out for their interests. I think we also operate in a culture that doesn’t really understand the value of a creative in an enterprise, so we are often unappreciated or under-represented

– Quality Content is King yet it is struggling to see the light of day , what are your views on this?

I think that Quality Control is an evolving process and it is happening little by little. The viewer is becoming more discerning and so the industry must evolve to meet that. We also cannot get lazy with the fact that the public doesn’t know better. Even if people don’t know that they should expect better, the industry needs to constantly raise its standards to compete with the best around the world

– What are your interests and given the opportunity, what issues would like to address within your industry?

My interests are the media as a platform, not as an end in itself. I’m not interested in being on TV for publicity or popularity sake. I want to be able to utilize the media to talk about things that matter, to highlight underreported issues and to celebrate people flying under the radar.

– We noticed you’re natural and proud, have you always been and why?

I haven’t o! I have beautiful permed hair for a long time, then hair damage and general peer pressure made me contemplate the big C. After mulling over it for a year, I finally chopped off two thirds of the permed length, transitioned for 8 months and then chopped off the rest of the perm. It hasn’t always been an easy journey, I was sure I was going to perm it at the end of the 1st year. 2 and a half years later though, we’re still here this hair and I

– If you could travel the world in a day, where would you go first?

Ah…maybe to Oron, to spend some time with my grandma. I miss her

– From producer’s perspective, what kind of content would you create to add value to the Nigerian society?

I love the Nigerian culture – its variety and fluidity. How we celebrate, where we come from, why we believe and do the things we do…these are the things I would love to share. Let’s go back to being crazy about our origins

– If you could have a soundtrack for where you are in your life right now, what would it be?

Unwritten – Natasha Beddingfield

 

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Meet: Andy Madaki

Andy Madaki is the friendly techie and PR expert. He is a Principal partner at iBlend and is the Curator of Abuja Global Shapers. Friendly, kind and extremely smart, Andy is that person with more layers than you could imagine, Meet him and enjoy.

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  1. Who is Andy Madaki?

 

Ans: Andy is a not so young man from Benue State, who loves life, music, tech, business, politics and food

 

  1. Take us through your formative

 

I grew up in Makurdi, Benue State. Went to 3 secondary schools pretty much because I was failing from one to another. Finally got into university at 16 and studied Sociology. After my NYSC I left Nigeria to the UK for a Masters in Computer Forensics. Now I have always been interested in Business and registered my first company at the age of 18. It was a modelling agency in Benue State. I started working during my summer breaks since i was about 9 years old.

 

  1. When did you discover your love for technology?

 

At the age of 9 my dad registered my brother Eddie and I for at a computer training school. So that was when I fell in love with technology. Went on to work at a computer centre for a while then also at a phone store between the ages of 12 to 16. I was generally drawn to gadgets and technology.

 

  1. Did you ever find the tag ‘nerd’ or ‘geek’ offensive?

 

 

Not at all. I think it is funny because it is an unnecessary tag to be honest. Geeks have goon from being the rejected to being the cool kids. Who knows, some day society will decide to  make geeks uncool and what happens. I am not a fan of tags

 

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  1. What are your interests outside work?

 

Music

Food

Exercise

Travelling

 

  1. What do you do? ( please ignore this question if you answered it in question 1)

 

I am an Information Security Consultant and a Communications Strategist

 

  1. From a ‘tech perspective, what would you say are the challenges faced by SME’s in Nigeria and how would you address them?

 

Two major things: Access to funds and Regulation. As a startup or entrepreneur it is easy to have an idea and maybe even start the concept into a product or solution. The problem now becomes government regulations which may block your services or cost to much for you to implement. This could lead to SMEs folding up.

 

High interest rates in for loans are not favourable as well and this poses a major challenge to new businesses and SMEs

 

 

  1. Last year, you had NIITEX, a tech exhibition, in Abuja. Please tell us about it.

 

Most tech events hold in Lagos as it is seen to be the commercial capital of the nation and this in my opinion is not the true reflection of the tech ecosystem. NIITEX is the Nigerian Innovation and Information Technology Expo. This event aims to create a platform for entrepreneurs and innovators in the technology space especially in the North and Central region in Nigeria. Last year was our first event and we had a lot of support from several organisations from government to private sector and telecommunications.

 

 

  1. What going trends do you think we are yet to fully tap into in Nigeria?

 

To be honest, the world is now a global village and so I can say we are tapping into every trend however we do not have the capacity to sustain most. I will say we are catching up pretty okay. What we need is infrastructure such as internet access

 

 

 

  1. Lagos is light years ahead of Abuja in business and entertainment, why do you think this is so?

 

Do not let the packaging fool you. Most lagosians in the enterainment industry make the bulk of their money when they come to Abuja or other states for work or events. Lagos has the record labels, distribution companies, sponsors and all that but at some point “see finish” happens and so they need to stretch beyond their coasts. What Abuja needs is a confidence boost and to support talent from within. And so, i don’t think Lagos is light years ahead of Abuja.

 

 

 

  1. What challenges do you think Abuja businesses face, other than funding?

 

I think in Abuja we are quite laid back because it is the seat of government which means majority of the workforce are government workers. So there is a level of contentment or maybe laziness. This also affects us because the decision makers for a lot of private owned corporations like the the Telcos are based in Lagos. So it is easier for Lagosians to build and use a network of decision makers than those of us here in Abuja who need to get to Lagos in order to get the right signatures or support.

 

  1. Tell us about your role in iBlend?

 

I am head of research, analytics, innovation and talent management. I am big on changing ideas into marketable services or brands. I work with the team on conceptualisation and efficient service delivery as well as best strategies to reach any client’s target audience.

 

  1. How do think appreciation for quality content outside mainstream entertainment can be achieved in Abuja?

 

We need to develop mainstream content before we even go outside. Research is important in everything. We need to understand why people in Lagos do certain things and succeed while others fail. Most people surround themselves with fanatics who are not objective about the work they put out and this leads to mediocre outputs. We need to first of all put out good content and market it properly

 

 

  1. What is your take on #iStandwithNigeria

For me, I believe in Nigeria. Regardless of political affiliation, tribe or religion, we must hold our government accountable. We saw Inflation rise in 15 months, we saw living conditions worsen. it became important to tell the government to sit up. I don’t care if some people were paid for the protest or sponsored, for me it is all about holding our leaders accountable.

 

  1. What inspires you?

 

Problems… I love solutions, I can’t see a problem and not fix it.

 

 

  1. What would be the soundtrack for where you are in your life right now?

 

I lived – One Republic

 

  1. What 3 countries would you choose as roles models for Nigeria.

 

Switzerland

Canada

United Kingdom

 

  1. If you had the chance to fix Nigeria, what three sectors would you address first?

 

Electricity

Healthcare

Education

 

  1. What would be the top three things on your bucket list?

 

Sky Diving

Visiting every continent

Consulting for a world leader

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Meet: Ibrahim Suleiman

Ibrahim Suleiman is a multi-talented creative and one of the newest additions to the cast of Tinsel. An artist in various forms of expression varying from dance to writing to architecture and more by night, he is your bespectacled, bearded Captain Quest

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Who is Ibrahim Suleiman?

Firstborn of Aisha Edna Suleiman.

Child of God.

Creative, Multitalented, Chill.

– Tell us what it was like growing up in Kaduna

Wow…growing up in Croc City was simple. I miss that the most, the simplicity of life. School, lunchboxes, mother’s baking, Voltron super ted and sesame street. Friends who were like extended family. And the beautiful weather. And kaduna was SO safe!!! Like we didn’t have a fence until I was in Uni!!!

– What are your major influences in life?

My Mother. She was my everything.

Creatively, my influences are diverse. From the cartoons I saw as a child, to Michael Jackson, to Robert Ludlum, Ted Dekker, The Wachowski brothers, Guy Ritchie, etc. The list is endless, as you can imagine seeing as I am very interested in different forms of artistic expression.

– How did you develop your sense of humor?

Hahaha. Mahn…it would just HAVE to be hanging with my mom and sibs. My family is ridiculously funny. I am the least humorous in my home. That should tell you something.

– As a multi-creative, list your talents in order of preference.

Dude. This one no possible o. Hahaha.

I’d say artistically, I have seasons.

Sometimes Digital Art has all my attention.

Few weeks later, I get a dance project and I breathe dance. Then it could be Acting, or Writing or Architecture and so on. It just depends on the season really.

– Is there anything you can’t do that you wish you could?

I honestly wish I could play the piano.

Or rap! Yes, I wish I could rap. Lol

– Define ‘Dream Catching’ as a creative entrepreneur

Hmmm…if it harnesses your creative energies and it can make a difference in yours and the lives of a bunch of folk, chase it down, catch it and work it until it blows up

– What’s your dance story in summary?

Wow…That’s a whole book’s worth of story telling you’re poking at o.

I picked up dance on the campus of ABU zaria at the age of 17/18. Then I got saved, joined YWAP and was made the head of the dance department (SOULDQUEST) we went on to put up over 100 dance based concerts on almost every federal university campus in Nigeria and a number on campuses in Ghana, Benin Rep etc. Then we went on to win The Malta Guinness Street Dance Africa 2008.

After that, I became a brand ambassador for the brand, did tvcs for them, GTBANK, MTN, interswitch, etc.

– What would you say was your first big break in entertainment?

Winning Malta Guinness Street Dance Africa

– At the time, what did you like about it the most and the least?

I loved the fact that we had a access to a larger audience.

Didn’t dig the impression people had that if you’re an entertainer, you’re a heathen.

– What valuable lessons have you learnt from the Nigerian entertainment scene?

Everyone has an angle.

Talent is never enough.

Maintain your day ones, they’ll help keep you grounded.

Call your mother daily.

The brands don’t care about your values.

Never burn bridges.

Help as many people as you can, but remember to keep climbing.

Save up.

– As a creative what do you prefer, working behind the scenes or in the limelight?

Working behind the scenes.

There’s more money there. Lol.

– What do you consider to be your biggest achievement to date?

To be honest…I don’t think I’ve achieved much as an entertainer.

As a person, now that’s a whole different story.

– Having worked with a lot of young talent over the years, what are the major challenges they face?

They are in such a hurry, it is heartbreaking. So instead of being a steady flame for 2 decades or more, They’re just a firecracker for a festive season.

– So Captain Quest, if you could have a super power other than dance, what would it be?

The thought process of the human mind fascinates me. So I’d love to read minds.

– Tell us about SeekYou Art

SeekYouArt started off with me attempting to find myself creatively every day.

Basically take what I learned yesterday, apply it in different ways today and see what I learn from the process which I’d use tomorrow.

It then inevitably evolved into a series of pretty dope pieces of art and a couple of people started placing orders for wall art. Then t-shirts. Then mouse pads, dogtags, tote bags, etc.

Lol, it has been quite an experience of learning and growing and making money hallelujah

– If asked to describe the last 12 months in 3 words, what would they be?

Loss. Recuperation. Growth.

– If you had to travel what would be the two things you would not do without?

Besides personal hygiene stuff?

My digital work device and bank cards.

Meet: Xoxa Icha

Xoxa Icha is an artist in every sense of the word and she expresses herself through various mediums. From producing content for BBC to running her own art business, she is definitely a creative worth meeting. Enjoy

 

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  1. Who is Xoxa?

This question has such a strange effect on me. It sort of messes me up thinking of what to say. I never really know how to answer it…

If it’s ok to be honest, the truth is, I’m still getting to know who I am…I know what I am. Who I am, I guess if you don’t mind waiting it out with me, we would find out together. Let’s hope the rest of the interview helps us get a little closer to the answer.

 

  1. What was growing up like for you?

Growing up for me was good… no really good. The more people I meet, the more I know and appreciate the fact that growing up for me was really good. I know that now more than ever. Looking back, there are things that I think I may have wanted a bit differently, but overall, I know that all of it is a part of the me that is here now and I’m grateful. A good foundation isn’t common these days. I’m really privileged to have had one.

 

  1. What was your first creative outlet?

I guess it must have been seeing my parents, who are/ were both such creative people in different respects. My dad built a lot of the stuff in the house, it made home unique, I guess. The décor in our home was reflective of their creativity. Old photos tell the tales but I can remember a lot of it.  So yeah…my parents were the first open window to creativity. I started out tracing pictures through transparent paper and colouring them in. I went from there to copying pictures that I was interested in. I drew cartoon characters and things from story books. Drawing from inside my head (as I used to call it) was tough…for a while. I could never really let it out.

Then art classes, art clubs and excursions…and time came along to help.

 

  1. What do you do and why?

I make art. Many kinds of art. Mostly impossible art. My expression has been called that before…’impossible’. I do it because I can’t help it! It consumes me from the inside out. People pay me for what that consumption produces. The money is good…very good. I mean I live in the capital city! But it’s about so much more than getting paid. Those lines I draw…in the colours I choose, those are parts of me I give out and no stated amount can afford that.

 

 

  1. Asah-Bara, BBC… the juggling game.

This is one of those things that I can write a book about. Working at the BBC, depending on which side of the coin you are on, is demanding to say the least. Working in production in the way that the BBC does it is not at all for the faint hearted. It’s been an almost 9-year long journey. Inside, there’s been a knowing that this won’t be my forever. I guess knowing and understanding clearly what my dream is has done a lot to help me juggle all those very heavy balls. An average day would be me working from 9 till well past 5 at The BBC, coming home changing clothes and getting straight to work on my art. Sometimes, it would mean finishing up as quickly as I could at the office to come home and work on my art- work all night and be at work when the sun comes up. I would be at bazaars on the weekends and back in the office on Monday delivering excellent content [and I’m not just saying].

I’ve been accused of working too hard and not having time for fun. When I look at what their readily available definitions of fun are, I choose over all that the success I am steadily becoming.

Turning out art in different forms, both for the BBC and for Asah-Bara has done so much to show me my deep-rooted strength as a woman and has gone a long way in building my spirit.

There A little while ago, I would have had to politely pass this question as my contract with the BBC would have made it difficult to answer considering that it would be a published interview.

After nearly 9 years of working with the BBC, I was glad to resign my job in December of 2016. I’m looking forward to the challenge of new journey of building my dreams with these two hands…literally.

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  1. What Birthed Asah-Bara and what does the name mean?

I get this all the time. It usually follows a series of questions targeted at my colourful background and where it is that I come from. The name I was given sort of seems to scream south African. I won’t lie, that has helped a bit in some situations. Ok. Focus…dot deviate. ‘Asah’ and ‘Bara’ are two separate words. They are both ancient Hebrew words. They both mean ‘to -make’ but in two different contexts. ‘Asah’ is the ancient Hebrew word for the creative power of man. That is, the ability to make things from what God has provided. ‘Bara’ is the ancient Hebrew word for the creative power of God the Father, the master Creator. That is, His ability to create from nothing. He says ‘be’ and it becomes. That is ‘Bara’. My love for ancient Hebrew drew me to seek and find these words and exactly what they meant. Putting them together made perfect sense to me because as far as I am concerned, that is what design is! The union between ideas [ that only God can give] and the basic things He has made available to us to implement those ideas… that’s what births design! You can come up with the coolest idea [that’s The God factor in you at work] for a chair, for instance.  The chair needs to be made from something. Whatever that chair is to be built out of has its origins somewhere among the things that God gave us on Earth. So, I put the words together across a hyphen. There you have it: Asah-Bara!

I believe that this name is completely inspired by the Holy Spirit [ I’m a born again Christian and I stand unashamed].

The journey to this name and how it came is gist for another day.

 

  1. What are your biggest challenges as an entrepreneur and tackling them…

In a country like Nigeria, where basically nothing but your spirit works…di challenge plenty! Yes please…read it in pigin. I believe in quality, but Nigeria and the general Nigerian mindset is so abused that even bad work looks acceptable. When it comes to me doing my craft, no questions there. The wahalla starts when other people get involved and you need to manage poor work ethic, no respect for deadlines…bad work and having to hear that I can ‘manage it’. The strength to tackle it comes from knowing where I am going and being determined to stand out of the overwhelming crowd. Coming down to the general mediocre level of work service in Nigeria is not an option. I would rather quit. If I’m doing it, it must be done excellently well…and believe me, I’m doing it! That’s the Spirit of God at work in me. I can’t take the credit.

 

  1. What are the greatest lessons in life from your personal experiences over the years?

-The world will challenge everything you think you are. It takes a lot to be the original you in a world full of copies. […and they say cloning humans hasn’t worked yet. Story…]

– What makes you different, is what makes you beautiful

– Who you are on the inside matters more than anything else on the outside. You’re locked up with that person when everything/one else goes away and they all do.

– Don’t ever pretend, the real you must come out… eventually.

– Good friends…true friends are very hard to come by in this world

 

 

  1. Who is The most inspiring person in your life and in what way

Omo! abeg, make we leave dis one. I don talk taya and the questions wey remain still plenty! Lol.

 

  1. Which three people do you look up to in the creative industry….

I’ve been dreading answering this question considering that there really isn’t anyone doing what I am doing. I’m sorry to say it but I don’t really have a role model in the creative industry. We hardly have a solid creative industry as per hand-made work and visual art. Music and film yes, but visual art and true hand-made original work…naah. There are a few, but not enough to make an economic mark or a global mark. I’ve done a lot of research about creative industries and the impact they can have on a nation economically…believe me, we don’t really have a creative industry here…so role models, I haven’t found yet. O wait, Nike Davies Okundaye …She has my deepest respect.

 

  1. Ultimate goal in life…

*singing* I wanna be a millionaire, so freaking baaad’…

No, but seriously, [I still want to be a millionaire but…no wait, I’m already a millionaire! I need new aspirations!] I want to be a force that will drive the hand-made industry in this country. It’s a huge thing…some days it looks impossible, like this country is too hurt and too broken to bother about art when the basics are not even in place. I pray I have the strength and the grace to see it happen in my lifetime. I really want to see our culture and heritage restored to a place of everyday pride, not ceremonial entertainment.

Me black and white looking ip

 

  1. Top three things on my bucket list

 

I don’t have a bucket list…hmmm. I wonder why I don’t have a bucket list. Did I say that out loud? I don’t want to think up something for the sake of an answer, really don’t have a bucket list and I’m not sure why.

 

 

  1. The soundtrack for where I am in my life….

My mental play list is scrambling…I know literally thousands of songs… even music without words. This is too hard to dig through abeg. Forgive me if I pass. This is me passing. Ok. I have passed.

 

  1. Greatest achievement

I’m not sure it has happened yet. That’s why too many options are reeling through my head searching for an answer. An answer does come to mind though. It would probably not rank as an achievement in the eyes of the world [then again, it just might], but it was an achievement that in many ways keeps the wind in my sails and keeps my head lifted and shoulders back. I won a quiet war. It meant as much as it did 2 years ago when it happened as it means now. I know an appropriate opportunity to talk about it will come. I will be patient till then.

For the sake of not walking away from this question without a clear answer, I would say my greatest achievement was my first solo and maiden exhibition- ‘The Whispers of the Weave’ show. It totally sold out and had over 700 visitors over four days. It was the official launch of the Asah-Bara brand.

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