A page from my thoughts

Free

Words can’t begin to express my Gratitude to my Maker, my King Lord Jesus, who has brought me out of darkness to shine forever, hmm…

I was born into a world where everything was perfect; humble, happy and perfect, where the sun rose in the blue sky and the stars actually twinkled, love was abundant and out of it, I was named ‘the love of God’.
Still it seemed the love that bore me was restless for change and we moved to a darkness I could not comprehend. Muddy streets and unkept urchins scurrying around in filth, awful odors, crooked houses and yet this was to become my home. Allergies and discomfort plagued me as I forced myself to adjust in this place that had dimmed the light.

Then one fine, murky day, the legion arrived to steal, kill and destroy the love that had given me life. Trapped in a box, the love fought for survival, ripping, scratching tearing away at the box but alas the harder it fought the harder it became to breath! Fear crept in from holes and engulfed me, wrapping around me as the love that loved me, slowly fell apart. Then the love submitted to the pressure and emerged in pieces , fear and confusion.
The room was pitch dark from then on, moving forward with no actual place to go just groping in the dark.

I was lost, could never find complete peace for the separation had left me divided from within, uncertain of all around me only knowing what I sensed. I became hollow, staggering through life, struggling and fighting with challenges, surrendering to fear, but nowhere to go. I couldn’t fit in, I couldn’t succumb, I hated change, I battled everything, confusion and fear were my worst motivation.

Then I found myself in a new box, where I was free within the walls to express myself and I embraced it, it was not all I wanted but it was enough to keep me alive. Depression and I were good friends but music was my best friend and while music and I were singing the light that had eluded me descended into my spirit, the Lord had saved me.
No words can describe the joy of salvation, it must be experienced. Weights of many ages were lifted off my shoulders, the box of gifts were opened and love greater than I was born with engulfed me. But alas, life still had me in the boxing ring! Before I could saddle up, the punches came rolling in and though I had backup this time, I didn’t know how to use it so I set it aside, rolled up my sleeves and began my staggering routine that was my signature comeback *sigh*
Of course I was knocked out by the second round and life merciless pummeled me with loss, tragedy, pain and suffering. *smh* oh Life!

This time I walked myself to the box opened the lid and climbed in. ‘Bring it on’ I beckoned as I sat there watching life pass me by, day by day, month by month, the worst tragedies, the greatest losses, the end…or so I thought.
While I wallowed in self-pity,thinking up all the reasons why I had been subjected to so much pain, I received the hardest slap ever, I was startled for I did believe I had been in the box alone but there right beside me sat Hope, Grace and Blessing that I had ignored when I was saved. I was dusted off and dragged before the master who said ‘ my dear child, when will you understand that you are not alone? Ask for whatever you want and you will receive’, I had no time to respond because the earth beneath my feet gave way and I opened my eyes to behold a light at the end of a tunnel! I ran towards screaming God’s name, Hope, Grace and Blessing appeared at my side and in no time swooped me off my feet and into the light.

I smile all the time now, I’m a new me, the me I ought to be and God is here with me, every step of the way with each passing day, oh and did I mention that Grace, Hope and Blessing are now my house-mates?

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